Thanks For The Memories
by Akiboshi
Summary: As much as Matthew wanted to be with the white haired man, Ivan was already dating his brother Alfred. So for one day, Matthew will pretend to be Alfred to have one date with Ivan even if the guilt continues to kill him. RussiaXCanada RussiaXAmerica


I gently hummed to myself a song I use to listen to a long time ago as I sat on a park bench. My feet were swinging back and forth with excitement. However, a string of guilt was forming in the pit of my stomach at the same time. I shouldn't be doing this, but I couldn't help it. The desire to be with him was so great that I decided to be selfish.

"Alfred?"

My eyes shifted to a tall man with white hair and child like features walking towards me. His mouth was curved into his signature smile as he looked at me with glee. I cleared my voice then did the same while trying to make my voice sound loud and hyperactive.

"Hey Ivan, you made it! It's great to see you!"

I engulfed the man into a bear hug which he returned happily. He gently kissed the side of my head then nuzzled his face into my neck. His warmth almost made me cringe but I held it in. I needed to keep up the act if I wanted him to stay longer.

When we parted, I took the time to take in the features of the man I loved. His violet eyes along with his strong build and kind heart made him the man of anyone's dream. Well, that's how it felt to me whenever I saw him. His sweet and kind personality also made him likable towards others.

"If I may ask, why did you suddenly want to have a date today? I thought you were busy."

"I can always make time for you."

His smile grew wider before he leaned in to kiss my lips. I continued to smile now that I was sure he thought I was Alfred. The guilt in my stomach grew but I brushed it off. For one day, I will lie to him. Just this once, before I completely give up my feelings.

I looked at his hand and hesitated to hold it. Even though Alfred and I were twins, our personalities are polar opposites. While I was the quiet one, my brother can't stop talking. This resulted in him being the one with more friends and I was forgotten. Things got better in high school, but Alfred still obtained more than me. Including Ivan, a Russian exchange student who was immediately attracted to my brother.

We only met face to face once, but that was when Alfred introduced him as his boyfriend. That was two years ago and by now, he has probably forgotten that I exist. I knew that for a fact because even some of my friends forget that I'm their right next them. It does hurt whenever they forget, but I got used to it. I'm simply grateful that I have some people beside me.

My thoughts were interrupted when I felt a hand hold my own. I looked at Ivan who was still smiling at me. He ran his other hand through my hair in a soothing motion, making my body instantly relax.

"What would you like to do first?"

I held onto his hand firmer to gain more self confidence. If I was going to pull this off, then I can't be afraid to do what I want.

"Arcade. It's been a while since I've been able to play games."

"Alright."

Before he could take a step forward, I stopped him then took out a camera from my bag.

"Picture first."

I raised our joined hands up then leaned in closer to his face while adjusting the camera. Once I pressed the button, the camera made a beeping noise while the photo started coming out from the top.

"What kind of camera is that?"

"It's a Polaroid camera. I'm borrowing it from a friend so that we can take a bunch of pictures of each other."

I held the picture up to the light and was happy with the results. When I looked at Ivan, he seemed to think the same thing. Once the picture was placed securely in my bag, I pointed at a random direction.

"Now off to Neverland!"

He chuckled at my enthusiasm then turned around and lead me to our next destination with our hands still intertwined.

"_As of now, I'm no longer Matthew Jones. Just this once, I will be your Alfred, Ivan." _

To be honest, I didn't think my plan would work. True I managed to make some changes to my appearance to match Alfred and practiced speaking louder, but I thought Ivan would see through it. That, or he wouldn't be able to see me because I was usually invisible to him. I shook my head and simply thanked Fate for allowing things to progress smoothly.

When we arrived at the arcade, we purchased some tokens before looking at the games. I was surprised to see new games wherever we go. It seems that many things have changed since the last time I've been here. They even had some crane games where the player could win stuff animals if they were lucky enough.

"What should we play first?"

At first I was going to pick air hockey, but Alfred would probably pick the scary survival game first. I didn't mind scary things so I lead him into one of the enclosed games with a cliché name.

"Won't you be scared?"

"Why do you think I always watch scary movies? Don't worry, this will be a piece of cake. Besides, I can handle anything!"

That's what I thought before the game started. Within a minute, I ended up screaming at the monster that popped out of no where. It wasn't helping that the music in the background sounded creepy and eerie. I thought I could handle a few shocks but by the end of the game, my head was buried in Ivan's shoulder. Never again will I step foot into one of these games.

"A piece of cake was it, Alfred?"

His comment made me growl but I ignored it since Ivan ruffled my hair again.

"Any other suggestions?"

I pulled him over to where the DDR (Dance Dance Revolution) games were but frowned when I saw that they were all taken. Ivan chuckled beside me then pointed to a game that was similar to the DDR game but had slanted arrows. I wasn't used to that game but I thought that it made it an even playing ground for the both of us.

"You want us to play that game when we're both wearing sandals?"

"Why not? At least we're playing barefoot together."

He chuckled then inserted the tokens while I stood on the side. Once the machine was set to two players we both took off our sandals then stood on our own sides. When the song list came up, I was surprised to see J-pop and K-pop songs as the selection. I shrugged then selected one of the songs I knew.

Once I was back to my station, the song began. I gaped when the arrows started coming at high speed. I quickly moved my feet to one of the slanted arrows then groaned when I pressed the wrong one. With the up beat music, their were many times where I would trip on my own two feet. Playing barefoot also made the impact on my feet a bit harsh.

Unlike the usually four arrows in DDR, this game had four arrows plus a platform in the middle you had to step on. I wasn't used to playing with these settings so I ended up missing most of the arrows that passed by. The bar on the top of the screen that represented my health was completely empty and glowing red.

When the results came in, I was surprised to see that Ivan had a score of 'A' while I had an 'F'. I looked at him in awe and saw a taunting smile on his face.

"Next stage, I'll beat you for sure."

"That would be true if both of us survived the first round. However, since you failed, it's game over for the both of us."

He pointed to the screen which said 'game over' to prove his point.

"Then we shall keep playing until I kick your butt!"

A soft chuckle came from his lips as he inserted more tokens into the machine. This time, I made sure to set the difficulties for me on easy. I didn't want to embarrass myself a second time. Unfortunately, the results were similar to the first time we played. However, I was proud to say that I did improve. My health bar was low but still their so I survived the first song.

"Ha! Look, I'm getting better. Prepare to taste defeat you oversized bear!"

"Alfred, I'm not sure about you but being called an oversized bear doesn't sound like a compliment."

He sent me a small pout as he said that.

"Well it is cause being an oversized bear makes you very huggable."

To prove my point, I walked over to his side and gave him a long hug. I was exaggerating when I said he was oversized, because he would always pout whenever someone mentioned his big frame. His arms engulfed my body making it look small compared to him.

"So are you, my precious Alfred."

At that moment, I was glad that the arcade was dark so he wouldn't be able to see that I was a bit smaller than Alfred. I shook my head and tried to focus on what was happening now. If I continued to compare myself to my brother, I'll get distracted. At the end of the third round, I lost against Ivan but I still had fun. Even though there were a lot of people watching us because we were playing barefoot.

After walking around the arcade, we switched to playing air hockey which was something I was good at. Knowing this, I decided to make a bet.

"Hey Ivan, let's make things more interesting."

He titled his head to the side in curiosity as he held the puck in his hand.

"If I win, then you have to do one request."

"And if I win?"

"I'll do one thing you request."

His eyes flickered in determination and I knew this was going to be a tight game. After seeing his skills with something knew like DDR, I couldn't underestimate him.

"I accept."

As soon as he dropped the red puck onto the game field, I saw a blur then heard the a somewhat long beeping noise. When I looked at the score, I noticed that it was 1 to 0. My face instantly paled.

"_I'm doomed._"

I shook my head and decided to stay positive. It wasn't over until time runs out so I had to try my best before then. If I believe in myself then I might have a chance. That was what I thought but soon enough, the game came to an end. Ivan won by a long shot even though he let me score once in a while. He must have felt bad that I was losing badly to him. I sighed and bumped my head down on the air hockey table with a pout.

When I turned my head to the side, I saw Ivan look at me with a smile. After another sigh, I stood straight up but with my head titled down a little. Today was not my day. So far, all of the games I planned ended up failing. I wanted to at least show Ivan my good points through these games but it looks like that wasn't going to happen any time soon.

"Alright, what's your request, Ivan."

"Let me call you 'sunflower' for the rest of the day."

His immediate answer would have made me think that he planned this but his request caught my attention. I looked at him in curiously.

"Huh? That's it? Why request that?"

He reached out and held my hand then brought it up to his face.

"You never like me calling you 'sunflower' since it sounds girly, but it matches you so perfectly that I can't resist."

His lips gently touched my knuckles and even in the dimly lite arcade, I could see the emotions burning in his eyes. I felt my body froze as he continued to gaze at me in a hypnotic trance. It was only when he caressed my face when I returned to my senses. I touched his hand then removed it from my cheek while intertwining our fingers together.

"Fine, if it makes you that happy then I can live with it for one day."

Ivan smiled wider then engulfed me in another hug. I didn't mind him calling me 'sunflower' since it was cute but mostly because it hurt whenever he said 'Alfred'. It kept reminding me that I wasn't who he thought I was. Once he pulled away, we started walking around the arcade when I stopped at a photo booth. Ivan noticed my lack of movement then looked around.

"Are you hungry, sunflower?"

"A bit, but how about we do that first."

I pointed at the photo booth. The difference with this one was that you could decorate the pictures after taking them.

"I don't see why not."

We both headed inside a brightly lit space with a green screen in the back. As soon as the tokens were inserted, a high pitched voice greeted us then told us to select the backgrounds for our pictures. While the pictures were loading, I looked to Ivan and saw a scowl on his face.

"What's wrong?"

"The voice sounds like my sister before she goes all crazy to marry her."

"Katsuya?"

"No, Natalia."

I shivered when I remember his youngest sister. From afar, she looked like an innocent, pretty girl. As soon as you meet her, she turns into a crazy person who has a brother complex. Her older sister was much more caring and actually one of my friends. She's probably the only other person besides Lovino who know about my feelings. Time and time again, she told me to tell Ivan about it but I couldn't. It didn't matter now anyway. Soon, everything including Ivan will be a distant memory to me.

When the first frame came up, the same high pitched voice started counting down. I quickly made half a heart then smiled at the camera while Ivan did the same. The next one I climbed onto Ivan's back which almost made him fall but we managed to take the picture. After the next few minutes, we finished the first part of the process then moved to the decorating section.

The first thing I did to each of the pictures was putting the date on them. I wanted to remember this day before I lock it up forever. Then I changed Ivan's white hair to blue and place ears on his head. Most of the time it's unnoticeable but the light color of his hair made it stick out like a sore thumb. When I looked at my creation, I started going into a fit of giggles. I couldn't help laughing because of how amusing it looked. Ivan noticed this and decided to do the same thing to all the other pictures we had. Although instead of blue, he made it pink and place something girly on my head then drew whiskers on my face.

At first I was going to remove it, but I liked how childish it looked cause Ivan did it. He was such a kid. Next thing I know it, our time ran out for decorating. I shrugged then waited for the machine to print our photos. They never gave us enough time for these things, but there's no use sulking over it.

"So where should we eat? And please don't say McDonald, I think I've suffered enough going their every time we go out, da?"

I held back a laugh by faking a pout. Leave it to Alfred to have fast food breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It's no wonder that he weighs more than a normal guy his age should.

"How about we settle for Italian? There's a shop nearby that I know has delicious food."

"Sounds good."

When the pictures came out, I was pleased with the results. I quickly placed them in my bag then lead Ivan outside. Before I lead him to the restaurant, I took a surprise picture of him in front of the arcade. The ending product showed a confused expression on his face as he stood by himself at the entrance. He looked somewhat like a lost child waiting for his parents to find him.

"Man Ivan, why are you so photogenic. It's not fair."

"The camera seems to love me more than you, sunflower."

I stuck out my tongue to him then started our journey to the restaurant. As we walked side by side on the sidewalk, I noticed that the sky was turning a deep orange. Time was ticking away. The day was going to come to a close soon. I needed to hurry if I want to make the most of what was left. A hand suddenly held onto mine and I welcomed the warmth it brought.

"You're very quiet today. Is something wrong?"

"There's just...a lot on my mind."

"Like?"

"How lucky it is to have a boyfriend like you."

Their was a light pressure on my cheek and it took a while before my mind processed that Ivan kissed me.

"I could say the same thing about you."

I blushed lightly then saw the restaurant in my field of vision. When we walked in, the overwhelming scent of fresh garlic bread filled my senses. Soon enough, someone lead us to an empty booth then left. I looked over the menu even though I knew what I was going to order. I've been here many times with some of my friends and always got the same thing.

"So, your birthday is coming up soon. Is there anything specific that you want?"

A tug pulled at my heart, but I ignored it. Today was actually my birthday, but no one remembers. Alfred hardly remembers since he always focuses on his own birthday that comes after in four days. He's getting better, but his short attention span always gets to him. I can't rely on him to do anything important because of it.

"How about a big hamburger plushie? Or better yet, a double cheeseburger plushie!"

Ivan instantly smiled when I mentioned the hamburger then shook his head trying to hold back a chuckle. I quickly took out my camera then took a picture of his face. He stopped then smiled again.

"Is taking a picture of me going to be a new habit of yours?"

"Maybe."

I smiled while placing the photo with the rest of them.

"I might end up blind from the camera's flashes."

"Which will give me a perfect reason for me to never leave your side."

His smile stretched further along his face.

"I love you Alfred, you know that right?"

He reached over the table and held my hand with his own. His violet eyes looked deeply into mine. Even with the dark lighting, it was easy to see the twinkle of affection in his eyes.

"Yes, I do. I love you Ivan."

I smiled to the best of my abilities but froze when he leaned into my face. His eyes never left mine as the gap between us was getting shorter by the second. When his lips touched mine, I let my eyes flutter close to heighten my sense of touch. There was no spark in the kiss, but I felt my heart beat faster than usual. Ivan's hand touched my hair then pulled me closer to his face. We pulled away for a few seconds then let our lips touch briefly.

"Sit next to me."

I gathered my bag then moved to sit on his side of the booth. His eyes looked possessive now, but the affection was still their. I held back a shiver and thought how lucky Alfred was to have him. It must be nice to feel protected and know that you'll be loved all the time. I shook my head to clear my thoughts and focus only on the man next to me. While we waited for the food, we a lot more pictures that involved much laughter and smiles between us.

He wrapped one arm around my shoulder to pull me closer to him while the other held onto my hand. I rested my head on his shoulder then closed my eyes. It felt nice to have someone cuddle by your side. I felt loved and remembered. At that moment, I heard something clink onto the table. When I opened my eyes, a plate full of spaghetti was in front of me. Another plate filled with food joined the first plate in a second. I licked my lips then inhaled the sweet aroma of the Italian food. The steam rising made it look very delicious.

Ivan stabbed the pasta with his fork then twirled it a couple of times before offering it to me. I smiled gratefully then accepted the food into my mouth. It tasted as good as it looked. I grabbed a ravioli with my fork then fed it to Ivan. He took it happily then kissed my lips. They tasted like cheese and wonderful goodness. I was glad that we picked this place to eat. Each bite was like a taste of heaven.

We continued this process for a few minutes until all of the food was gone. Our plates were taken away then soon enough, the check was on our table. Before I could grab the paper, he held it away from my reach. I insisted on helping him pay, be he refused to let me do that. In the end, I gave up and let him do what he wanted.

"Hope you enjoyed your meals, bast- I mean sirs."

I looked at the person who returned the check then flinched when I noticed that it was Lovino. He was a friend of mine that actually remembered me and I completely forgot that he worked here. Lovino's eyes peered into mine for second before he left us. I gazed at the table in front of me with a small frown. That look he gave me made it seem that he knew who I was.

"I'm going to go to the restroom. Wait for me at the front okay?"

"Sure."

He kissed the side of my head then left me at the booth. I grabbed my bag then slowly walked to the front of the restaurant. Before I can go through the exit, I felt someone grab my arm. I immediately flinched, but then I calmed down a little when I saw that it was Lovino. He had a normal scowl on his face as he searched my face for something. I didn't know what to say, so I waited until he broke the tension.

"What are you doing, Matthew."

I immediately bit my lip and felt myself shrink under the serious tone he was using. For some reason, I couldn't put up my act in front of him.

"I'm sure you already know what I'm doing."

"Then why are you doing this. Is that guy really worth it?"

I couldn't bring myself to look into his eyes so I kept my gaze at my feet. The confidence I held when I was 'Alfred' is long gone. My voice was once again soft to the point that no one could hear me.

"I love him, Lovino. I..I just want to be with him for one day, then I'll give up. I promise."

He grabbed my face and made me look into his eyes.

"Can't you see that you're just hurting yourself by doing this? Haven't I told you that loving him will only result in pain?"

His grip on my arm tightened and I could feel the anger radiating from him. A frown formed on my lips as guilt start to form in my stomach. The terrible feeling I had been pushing down most of the day was jabbing me from the inside. I could only hung my head in shame for disappointing him. Suddenly, he pushed me away and sighed loudly.

"Lovino what are you doing? Get back to work!"

"I know, leave me alone already you bastard."

He flipped off one of his coworkers then turned his attention back to me. Usually, I would laugh whenever he acts like this, but the tension was suffocating me. Still, it was surprising that he wasn't fired for his attitude.

"I'm sorry, Lovino."

"Why are you apologizing, idiot?"

He shook his head while rubbing his temple.

"Look, I think you need to tell this guy who you are and how you feel about him."

I immediately shook my head and started squeezing my hands. It was a nervous habit of mine that happens when I was feeling a lot of pressure. Lovino noticed this and sighed.

"I don't want to tell him. He probably doesn't remember me anyway."

"Still, is deceiving him the best thing to do?"

"The day is almost over. Please Lovino, let me enjoy this while it still last."

He cross his arms over his chest. It looked like he really wanted to smack some sense into me, he held back. After a few moments of thinking, he waved his hand at me.

"Whatever. Just don't regret this later on."

I smiled then hugged Lovino. He stiffened in the hug then awkwardly returned it. He was never a fan of people touching him, so it was amazing that he even accepted my hug.

"Thank you."

He pulled away then gave me one last look before going back into the kitchen. I exited the double doors then took in the cold night air. It was refreshing to feel against my skin. In a few minutes, I felt someone embrace me from behind. A light smile plagued my lips before I turned around to look at Ivan's smiling face.

"Were you waiting long?"

I shook my head then held his hand.

"Thanks for dinner, Ivan."

"No problem. Anything for my sunflower."

He kissed my forehead lovingly then engulfed me into another bear hug. I was really going to miss this. At least I was able to experience it before everything disappeared.

"Also, thanks for going on a date with me today. I really enjoyed it."

"So did I. Shall I walk you home?"

"I'd like that."

We started our walk down the road hand in hand with the night as the only noise accompanying us. The silence was comfortable, and the atmosphere was nice. It was just a shame that this will end once we reached my house. When I looked at Ivan in the corner of my eye, he had a wide smile on his face. I was glad since he looked very happy. Alfred better keep him happy for the rest of his life.

"What's on your mind?"

I was a bit startled but his sudden question, then shook it off.

"Why do you ask? Is it because I'm making a funny face?"

"You always make a funny face, especially when your thinking."

He turned to me and chuckled which only made me pout in return.

"Don't worry, I like all the emotions you show me, especially when you're very hot and flustered."

Ivan leaned in and stole a quick kiss from my lips. He held my face in his hands then pushed me against a wall. His tongue easily found its way into my mouth which instantly sparked something in my stomach. Thankfully there was no one walking on the streets, so we had some privacy. I would have died of embarrassment if people were watching.

"See? You look absolutely delicious against the wall and under my control."

His eyes looked so hypnotizing that I couldn't move my body. It was like gazing into an animal's eyes that was about to eat and I was his prey. Then the spell was broken when a large grin formed on his face. A low chuckle escaped his lips as he stepped back to allow me my space. Once I realized that he was teasing me, I stomped my feet.

"You...you..."

"Da?"

"You are a butt!"

I stomped my feet again before walking a few steps ahead of him. He was such a tease. In the background, I heard him chuckle louder before his footsteps followed mine. I didn't bother looking at him, but kept my attention on the road ahead of me.

"I'm sorry Alfred, please don't be mad at me. I couldn't help it, you are just so adorable."

I didn't answer him, but I think it was easy to see that his words were getting to me. Receiving any kind of compliment from him would soften me up. I grumbled, he has such an effect on me while I had none on him.

"Alfred?"

"Hm?"

Suddenly, I felt Ivan kiss my cheek before a bright flash blinded me. When I registered that the flash came from my camera, I noticed that Ivan just took a picture of us.

"When did you..."

"Wall."

I grumbled to myself. That kiss must have stunned me a lot if he was able to grab my camera without me knowing. He placed my camera back into my bag then held my hand again. This time, I didn't do anything to pull away from it. His warmth was something I would always melt into. I swung our arms back and forth as we got closer and closer to my home.

"You seem different today."

I paused for a moment then answered him calmly.

"Is that a good thing?"

Our eyes connected for a few seconds before he looked away with a large smile.

"Yes. It feels like I'm falling for you all over again."

Immediately, I felt my face heat up. His words were so sweet and it felt great that I was the reason he said it. I momentarily looked down to hide my face from him. Even though I already embarrassed myself from his teasing, it was still hard to look at him when I'm blushing.

"We're here."

When I looked up, I saw that we arrived at my house. Reality crashed down on me when I realized that this was it. I will never experience this happiness with him once we went our separate ways. It was hard to hold back how much I didn't want to leave him.

"So we are."

My voice cracked a little but I shook my head to brush it off.

"_I guess I'll have to make this quick._"

I turned back to Ivan with a bright smile.

"Thanks for everything Ivan."

I gave him a quick hug then headed to my door. In less than four steps, I felt something grab my arm then pull me into a hug.

"Running away sunflower? Where is my goodnight kiss?"

A small pout formed on my lips. If I kissed Ivan, leaving him will be harder than it should be. I looked up at his hopeful face then sighed. Before I could stop myself, I went onto my toes then placed my lips onto his. It only lasted a moment, but I enjoyed every bit of it. He seemed satisfied with the kiss so he released me from his hug. I instantly missed his warmth, but it didn't show on my face.

"I'll see you tomorrow then?"

He asked me that hopefully and as much as I wanted to say 'yes', it will never be. Even so, I answered him.

"Of course."

Ivan smiled then kissed my forehead before stepping back and walking away. As he walked away, I felt my world crumble a little. Staring at his back made me want to run up to him, but I held myself back. Instead, I stepped inside my home then closed the door. I immediately went upstairs and into my room where I found my brother Alfred, sleeping on my bed. He must have went into the wrong room.

"Alfred?"

I walked over and shook his shoulder. He didn't wake up the first time, so I took out my phone. When I found the right app, I placed my phone close to his ear then pressed the button to make a loud fire alarm. His eyes immediately bulged open.

"Where's the fire! Where's the fire!"

As he looked frantically around the room, his eyes suddenly landed on me. Once his mind start to register that there wasn't a fire, he smiled.

"Hey bro! How was your day out?"

"Awesome. I'm sorry I couldn't hang out with you on my last day."

"It's alright, we can hang out more when I visit you in Canada. Are you sure you want to study there?"

I chuckled and placed my bag next to my packed suitcase.

"Yes I do. It's been my dream to go there and you know that."

"Yea, it's just...I'm gonna miss you bro. I'm gonna be very lonely here in this empty house."

He stood up and gave me a long hug which I returned with ease.

"I'm going to miss you too, and don't worry, you have Ivan. He'll look after you when I'm gone."

Alfred nodded as we pulled away from each other.

"So what time do I have to drop you off at the airport tomorrow?"

"9:00."

"Ugh, so early."

He sprawled himself out on my bed while hugging my pillow. I was going to miss having him around.

"Come on Alfred, I need to get some sleep."

I tried pushing him off, but he didn't budge so I guess I'll sleep with him today. We did that a lot as kids since Alfred couldn't sleep by himself after watching a scary movie. He actually still does this now, so I'm used to sharing the same bed with him. After changing into comfortable clothes, I saw that Alfred was already in dreamland. I smiled briefly then started looking through all the pictures I took today. Each of them made me smile and want to cry at the same time. Even so, I was glad that I could spend my birthday with him. Today made all of the pain and heartache worth it. I got to be with my crush before I start a new life in Canada. Someday, I'll tell him about this day, but not today.

After placing the pictures into my suitcase, I turned off the lights then grabbed an extra pillow in my closet. I pushed Alfred to his side of the bed then joined him on it. Thankfully, I had a queen sized bed, so we both had enough space for each other. I laid on my back then looked up at the ceiling. For some reason, I smiled sadly then let myself meet Ivan in my dreams.

_"I love you, Ivan." _


End file.
